I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
