How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
