just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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