so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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