She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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