Porn is love you can see.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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