making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize