You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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