he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
