Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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