that's an acceptable place to lick
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
