We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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