I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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