Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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