I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
