Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize