i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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