i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
