Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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