I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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