it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
