there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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