If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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