Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
