dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
