Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
