His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
