I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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