I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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