i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize