You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
