I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
