Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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