don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
