you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
