oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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