you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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