Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
