Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
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