..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
