He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
