i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
