Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize