U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
