And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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