Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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