She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
