Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
