MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
