Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
