he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
