So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
