I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize