WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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