"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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