This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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