sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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