Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
