I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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