Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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