Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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