OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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