Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Congratulations! We have a period
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
