Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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